You come home already tired. One small sentence becomes a big argument.
Your first instinct is to defend yourself. Their first instinct is to remind you of the last five times this happened. Within minutes, neither of you is discussing the original problem anymore.
Now ask something harder: what did you contribute to this moment? Not because all the blame is yours—but because your own part is the one part you can change without waiting for another person.
When the temperature drops, talk about the original issue. Listen for what is underneath the words. If repair is possible, begin there.

